Living Near Family as a Working Mom Isnt All Its Cracked Up to Be

Living Near Family as a Working Mom Isnt All Its Cracked Up to Be Not traveling far for holidays is nice. The rest, though ...I grew up in the New York metro area, and despite going to college in another city, I always knew Id return to New York to work as a writer/editor and raise my family. After all, both my and my husbands parents still live here and residing near family is the key tomaking working motherhood easier, right? Sometimes. Other times? Our families might as well be in another country. And other times, still, its actually tougher to live close to them. Here are seven things I didnt expect from living near ur parents.1. They declined to be our childsdaytime caregivers.Despite both sets of parents being available full-time when our firstborn hit the scene, no one was willing to commit to watching her while my hubby and I worked. Doctors visits, traffic and babies being demanding on 60-somethings bodies (all justifiable reasons) had us enrolling our daughter in daycare.2. They cant always providebackup careon short notice.On days our daughter got sick and couldnt go to daycare, or daycare would close because of schwimmbad weather, I wrongly assumed her grandparents would be the de facto sitters. Their own ailments and engagements (turns out its almost impossible to reschedule social security office appointments) kept them from coming to our rescue on most occasions. To be sure, we recognize how lucky we are that they can come through for us ever3. Our weekends are rarely for just the three of us.The proximity means were constantly spending our precious days off with our parents. We love them and want to see them But were a tad jealous of the couples who dont have to attend every. Little. Thing. Your Aunt Debbie is switching to a part-time job Lets go out to dinner. Your fifth cousin is having a half-birthday party. Youll be there, right? (Dont worry we say no when we really need at-home time.)4. We go to see them mora often than they come to see us. Bringing a baby or toddler anywhere is challenging. Theres just so much to prepare and pack, even for short excursions. So I thought that meant that our parents would be the ones coming to us most of the time. Not so. Of course, they visit us sometimes, but they still seem to prefer when we bring the party to them.5. And yet they imply we dont visit them enough.Even though well head to their neck of the woods at least twice a monthsometimes morethere are guilt trips over our number of physical trips. Highways zulauf in both directions, people6. They still want to Skype.Getting together in person a few times a month doesnt cut it. Grandparents want to video-chat with their grandkids, even when said grandkids cant say much. The requests roll in without fail at dinnertime, bathtime and bedtime (because were with them on the weekends, and were at work the rest of the time), and the resulting conversation is us trying to convince our daughter to do anything more than stare blankly at the screen or demand we flip back toShimmer and Shine.7. They can more easilycriticize your parenting choices.Far-flung family might never realize you co-sleep or keep your 2-year-old rear-facing in the car. Parents you can drive toand can drive to youknow all. And have what to say about it. It doesnt matter how many studies you show them to back up your moves. They dont think a newbie millennial mom could possibly know better than they do.But I appreciate that our daughter is beyond blessed to get snuggles with all four grandparents as often as she doesand were fortunate to have them as such important fixtures in our lives.This article originally appeared on Working Mother.